I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
