He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm fucking your sister right now.