i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am puke
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I was born with a shot glass in my hand