Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.