He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm fucking your sister right now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom