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What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
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