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the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
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