did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.