did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
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I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
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also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.