They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.