Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".