We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.