i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up