i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
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It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
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Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up