We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason