threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart