I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money