I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money