By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.