Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
barbara walters just said penis...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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