I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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