Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.