Texts From Last Night · dptscorpio113's Favorites

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dptscorpio113's Favorites Texts:

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."

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(703): View more from Virginia

I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.

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