Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe