Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
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Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
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white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.