Texts From Last Night

andynator's Favorites Texts:

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..

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  (574): I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today.. http://tfl.nu/121n
  Replies (20) Good night (819) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.

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  (612): He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this. http://tfl.nu/vp0n
  Replies (10) Good night (2665) Bad night (239)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bro? You just made it a target.

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  (407): Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy. (1-407): Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far. (407): Bro? You just made it a target. http://tfl.nu/0hg2
  Replies (7) Good night (2245) Bad night (836)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'

  (740): View more from Ohio

  i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.

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  (614): so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you' (740): i literally fucking hate you so fucking much. http://tfl.nu/7yl2
  Replies (82) Good night (33411) Bad night (1284)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'

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  (410): I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like' http://tfl.nu/uuvy
  Replies (5) Good night (329) Bad night (374) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.

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  (410): We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off. http://tfl.nu/hhrd
  Replies (26) Good night (4040) Bad night (394)
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  (925): View more from California

  I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission

  (925): View more from California

  Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol

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  (925): I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission (925): Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol http://tfl.nu/zmin
  Replies (8) Good night (1666) Bad night (303)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (524) Bad night (1174) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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  (919): I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob http://tfl.nu/wd4x
  Replies (10) Good night (1680) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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  (516): yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye... http://tfl.nu/3it0
  Replies (2) Good night (711) Bad night (389) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?

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  (303): I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters? http://tfl.nu/gcgg
  Replies (10) Good night (403) Bad night (949) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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  (619): my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew. http://tfl.nu/qfs0
  Replies (35) Good night (8229) Bad night (1735) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  Make me a sandwich

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

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  (845): Make me a sandwich (301): The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich. http://tfl.nu/al2a
  Replies (26) Good night (5904) Bad night (566)