They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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