If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.