hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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