Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.