so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.