Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.