Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor