If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
they're like a gay fantastic four
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there