I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.