I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
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If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.