Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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This is not my ceiling