So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...