Texts From Last Night

Texts from January, 2013

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.

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  (541): Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity. http://tfl.nu/lznq
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.

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  (971): Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should. http://tfl.nu/ipz3
  Replies (11) Good night (432) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head

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  (613): All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head http://tfl.nu/1jjy
  Replies (5) Good night (708) Bad night (241) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1021) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list

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  (508): Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list http://tfl.nu/sa1j
  Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (278) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador

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  (907): Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador http://tfl.nu/015q
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?

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  (304): That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try. (304): Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone? http://tfl.nu/y8p7
  Replies (10) Good night (460) Bad night (1149)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front

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  (770): It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front http://tfl.nu/bbjx
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."

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  (814): "I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year." http://tfl.nu/a90h
  Replies (5) Good night (565) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.

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  (505): I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/rp6m
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (212) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.

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  (603): No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized. http://tfl.nu/mdx3
  Replies (10) Good night (286) Bad night (825) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.

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  (514): He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac. http://tfl.nu/t8wx
  Replies (11) Good night (320) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Why does my jaw hurt?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I may have punched you.

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  (303): Why does my jaw hurt? (402): I may have punched you. http://tfl.nu/tz5g
  Replies (7) Good night (1619) Bad night (347)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Denial, avoidance and beer.

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  (312): Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013. (312): Denial, avoidance and beer. http://tfl.nu/o423
  Replies (3) Good night (868) Bad night (239)