Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!