Texts From Last Night

Texts from July, 2009

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.

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  (862): Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/hfa7
  Replies (40) Good night (2030) Bad night (2946)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.

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  (843): His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked. http://tfl.nu/h1xn
  Replies (17) Good night (3795) Bad night (559) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  what?

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn

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  (612): i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn (952): what? (612): i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn http://tfl.nu/vdma
  Replies (29) Good night (7604) Bad night (715)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face

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  (202): just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while (202): woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face http://tfl.nu/fujm
  Replies (11) Good night (796) Bad night (3284)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.

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  (908): Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog. http://tfl.nu/8v75
  Replies (27) Good night (738) Bad night (1895) Order T-Shirt
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.

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  (575): This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai. http://tfl.nu/0dst
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (3033)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I am spending my child support on dildos

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  (405): I am spending my child support on dildos http://tfl.nu/j7aa
  Replies (78) Good night (1134) Bad night (3890) Order T-Shirt
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole

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  (705): i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole http://tfl.nu/tpm5
  Replies (27) Good night (550) Bad night (6558) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.

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  (206): I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship. http://tfl.nu/9mk5
  Replies (40) Good night (3475) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart

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  (845): i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart http://tfl.nu/aabo
  Replies (50) Good night (3255) Bad night (696) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I showed him my bush... on skype.

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  (817): I showed him my bush... on skype. http://tfl.nu/384w
  Replies (40) Good night (708) Bad night (4082) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers

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  (231): we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers http://tfl.nu/anad
  Replies (33) Good night (8214) Bad night (500) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Come on the kid is gayer than me

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt

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  (757): Come on the kid is gayer than me (757): Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt http://tfl.nu/ov34
  Replies (11) Good night (3146) Bad night (701)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.

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  (336): I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort. http://tfl.nu/myrl
  Replies (11) Good night (518) Bad night (2581) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background

  (1-704): View more from North Carolina

  hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god

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  (704): i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background (1-704): hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god http://tfl.nu/u7bb
  Replies (47) Good night (2942) Bad night (677)