Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.