Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.