She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
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He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
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All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.