Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.