My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
