Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
