I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Will you blow on my dice?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?