hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I'm gonna have a badass scar
If You LOL At These 18 Tweets, You’re Probably A Terrible Person
Will you blow on my dice?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Good Food, Cheap Beer, and Hot Singles: the Top 13 Cities for Millennials