I would do horrible things to your vagina.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.