Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (617)

Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move

(617): View more from Massachusetts

that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame

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(508): dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move (617): that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame http://tfl.nu/79g6

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Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night

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(617): Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night http://tfl.nu/jx5s

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I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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(617): I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker http://tfl.nu/yzaq

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i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.

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(617): i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good. http://tfl.nu/gykq

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I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.

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(617): I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation. http://tfl.nu/k6x3

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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.

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(617): We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well. http://tfl.nu/7kjf

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I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree

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(617): I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree http://tfl.nu/6ra8

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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.

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(617): When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner. http://tfl.nu/g7ai

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Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n

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Why am I even shocked you're doing this....

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(774): Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n (617): Why am I even shocked you're doing this.... http://tfl.nu/y7yp

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college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"

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(617): college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place" http://tfl.nu/mdbw

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What time did you start drinking?

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Maybe.

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Maybe isn't a time...

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(617): What time did you start drinking? (978): Maybe. (617): Maybe isn't a time... http://tfl.nu/r4p5

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I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

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I would be honored to be that friend.

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(978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl

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You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.

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(617): You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias. http://tfl.nu/4ikl

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I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness

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(617): I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness http://tfl.nu/m7sl

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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.

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(617): He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him. http://tfl.nu/v8g0

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Last Night in Massachusetts (617)

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