You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"