WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
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I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."