I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.