why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
