I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
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We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!