I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!