I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
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just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If You’re One of These 12 Restaurant Customers, Your Server is Definitely Spitting in Your Food
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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